Saturday night. An illegal immigrant smashes into the take out guy with a truck, because he wasn’t served his Corona. The following morning. A woman tries to hit a cop with her car. These two incidents in my home county of Bucks.

The latter story is less tragic and more action-packed, as a four-mile car chase went under way in the wee hours of the morning across Buck Road (and beyond) until the 25-year old woman was finally captured in Newtown. Her headlights were off, she used all lanes, and ran every red-light she could. I could imagine it as a scene from a low-budget film, with the officer squawking into his radio for backup—for just another vehicle to head her off up ahead. She’s caught, attempts to get away again by stepping on the gas as soon as the cop gets the door open, is stopped when he lunges for the handbrake, yanks it up.

The first story, however, is much more tragic. Billy and Carl are outside Salute having a smoke when the vile and highly illegal Jose Esteban Maldonado-Luzuriaga barrels into the front of the bar, pinning Billy to the storefront. Carl saves the day by grabbing the front door, yanking it open, throwing Señor Ecuador to the ground, pinning him to the curb.

But Carl cannot save his buddy and co-worker, Billy. Firefighters unpin the near-dead body from the exterior wall of Salute, rush him to the hospital.

Thirty-year old William Sullo III is pronounced dead at the hospital.

Originally this was going to be a story about how I feel that illegal immigrants cannot be allowed to stay in the country, because look at what they do. If they can’t keep under the radar, can’t just live a clean life, can’t get along, they don’t deserve to be here illegally. And the result of this stupid alcoholic alien is William Sullo, Jr. (or maybe William Sullo II, I dunno) is now crying about how his son should be burying him, not the other way around.

But now I’m just curious as to how many drunk people try to use their cars as weapons. I mean, that stuff only happens in the Middle East or, at least, in terrorists’ operations. Not when someone needs to get home before they get caught driving drunk.

I even know an illegal or two, which makes the story ever more difficult to me, because balancing legal beliefs with philosophical beliefs never gel very well, especially with such a hot-button topic as this.

I have a couple stories of my own I could tell, but that will be saved for the podcast. Meanwhile, what do you think of all this?

Crazy? Weird? Incomprehensible? Enraging? Unnecessary?

All of the above?