When I was a kid I loved to eat bananas. I ate them all of the time. Unfortunately something happened to me right around the time I was in high school. I consumed a banana and got very sick. Like throat closing, can’t breathe, need to go to the ER kind of sick. Life was never the same after that.

I developed many more food allergies since—bell peppers, eggplant, strawberries, mango, kiwi—you get the idea. I also acquired a latex allergy due to fruit allergies. It’s funny how things can cross react like that.

But anyway. . . of all my food allergies, bananas seem to be the worst. And strangely enough, it seems like someone is trying to kill me with them. A few years ago I was “accidentally” given bananas in a smoothie I ordered from Planet Smoothie in Red Bank, NJ.

Now, this may seem like an accident to some people. . . But I specifically asked for my smoothie without bananas, explaining that I have a banana allergy. The other thing worth mentioning, I was the only person in there at the time. I guess when you get used to doing things a certain way, you tend to not deviate from the routine. It just seemed strange to me.

Over the years I’ve had many run-ins with bananas. Twice in the past two years, someone has left a banana on my desk at work. I am writing this now with a banana on my desk actually. And I have to say just the smell of it is making me feel sick. Unfortunately, I can’t touch it. Solving this problem isn’t that easy.

Three months ago, I was leaving work for the day and a man in a suit, holding a single banana stepped on to the elevator with me. Heatlh conscious citizen? Or hired hitman? A few weeks after that, I was outside of my building checking the mail and noticed a gross almost black banana laying next to the entrance way back into the building. Two weeks ago, I ran into a good friend who lives in the apartment above mine. . . and he was eating a banana! Not to mention it was odd of him to be lurking about on my floor when he was supposedly on his way out to get to work. Sounds fishy’ eh?

All I am saying is that I really think someone is trying to kill me. With a banana. I wouldn’t be surprised if after posting this a banana turned up in my bed (Godfather style).

Is there anyone that can help solve this mystery? Is there anyone that will save me?