Color Me Unimpressed

Chris | 06/1/09 9:22 pm | (159 views)
Games | (Tagged E3 Microsoft)
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So today I watched the Microsoft E3 conference. Unlike most people who seemed to be relatively comfortable at their personal computers I was at work, doing work, while watching the press conference on my phone. Anyway here are the thoughts I had while watching the conference.

Rock Band Beatles
Songs are announced. yay, I guess? I’m not a Beatles fan but I’ll probably get it anyway.

Tony Hawk: Ride
ummm hmmmm, I think not.

Modern Warfare 2 yep it’s Modern Warfare, in the snow. I’ll probably get it and probably lose interest less than six months later. You all probably think I am insane.

Final Fantasy XIII
first footage of FF XIII running on the 360 the game should be available Spring 2010 on PS3 and 360. I’ll be getting both versions because I am insane.

Shadow Complex
first game I hadn’t previously heard about. Epic is behind it (kind of) I’m interested. It arrives this summer. Could be fun. I like Epic.

Joyride a cartoon based racer that uses Avatars? Ok.

Crackdown 2
Now things are rolling. This is the sweetness. I can’t wait.

Left 4 Dead 2 Ugh, disappointed to say the least. These should have been maps in L4D, I guess that is going in the trade pile.

Splinter Cell Conviction
due this fall, I don’t like SC, so I don’t care about this.

Forza 3
due in October and has flips and rolls (ala GRID) as well as over 400 cars, coolest part seems to be that you will be able to save and upload videos (ala Halo 3).

Halo 3: ODST Seems like more Halo which is a good thing in my book. Available September 22

Halo: Reach
A prequel to the original Halo. I love Bungie. An invite into the beta for Halo: Reach will come with ODST. Have I mentioned I love Bungie?

Alan Wake
Vaporware. Arrives Spring 2010. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Other stuffs

XBOX Live makes a deal with Last.fm (streaming music). A dedicated menu box (ala Netflix) will be available for Last.fm to XBOX Live Gold members later this year. Not something I would use but if you are into streaming music it’s cool.

Netflix will receive an update to add movies and edit the queue which is long overdue.

XBOX Live video marketplace will be renamed Zune TV and will feature all movies in full 1080p.

Live Party also making a splash, able to listen and watch movies together MST3000 style with avatars (sounds a little like Home without the walking).

Facebook is coming to XBL, sounds stupid. As if Facebook wasn’t stupid enough, Twitter is also coming to XBL.

Metal Gear Solid Rising
I heard the hearts of millions of Sony fanboys crying out in anger while MS fanboys drown them out with their laughing and install base. It stars Raiden, now I hear the hearts of MS fanboys crying out in anger and Sony fanboys laughing, although the crying is louder. Seemingly not exclusive so everyone will probably get their cyborg ninja on in four years.

Project Natal
Microsoft officially unveils the long rumored Wii60 remote, although it is called something else and doesn’t use a remote. Motion control for everyone. Maybe I am just old and set in my ways but I hate motion control. Ughh…. I knew it was coming and I am still disappointed.

Spielberg is talking about the Wii60 camera doohickey. At least he seems excited for it.

Evidently Kudo is in charge of the motion control, I was wondering what they did with him after he disappeared from the Gears 2 promotional run. Wii60 will evidently offer me a level of control I’ve never even imagined before. I have a pretty big imagination and I’ve never thought that something shaped like my cable box would be my key to the ultimate level of gaming, I guess I should think outside the box more. Yep, this is nothing like the Wii at all providing of course you live in a cave and have never heard of the Wii. At least it doesn’t have three different controllers that need to be used to experience full body motion control, now I’ll just look like a head case instead of a head case trying to use the Wii Remote. Waggle sucks and this just seems like full body waggle.

Wii60 will have facial recognition and will scan player’s faces and sign us in instantly. Creepy but at least different from the Wii. I hope Nic Cage doesn’t steal my face and try to use my 360.

Oh god it is Paint Summoner. OK not really but I would drop some bones to play that game (because in my mind I am summoning paint with my ass and that is awesome), instead it is demoing Paint Party.

Good here comes Peter Molyneaux and he is here to unveil… my feed cut out at this point so I had to continue on without it.

Molyneaux is here to unveil the new Fable game called Fable III: Have Your Dog Fetch a Stick. In F3:HYDFaS, you will be able to have your dog fetch a stick in over 1,000,000 ways (you will probably only be able to have them fetch your stick in one way but you know how Peter over exaggerates things). You will also be able to train your dog to attack people trying to play on your console by using the nifty new facial recognition and real live animatronic dog peripheral all while being able to cook things involving butter.

I think that’s it, my feed was still out and honestly I stopped caring after Halo: Reach was announced anyway.

———————-

I understand that Molyneaux came out to unveil a creepy child molestation simulator. I think my game was a better idea.

Favorite announcements: Crackdown 2, Halo: Reach, and Shadow Complex

Least Favorite announcements:
Project Natal and Left 4 Dead 2 but I’ll probably get both anyway.

Overall grade to Microsoft: B

Comments (5)

5 Comments

  1. Comment by Jay V — 06/2/09 @ 12:35 pm

    I was reading about Natal on PC World and stopped reading it to see what you had to say. Of course I had to get through all of the games you don’t care about that I care about and vice versa. I mean, really. Halo? Splinter Cell? You got it all backwards! And I personally don’t care about Snake vs. Raiden. He was a whiny androgynous biatch in MGS2, but he was still kinda rad when he had the sword. And I missed him in MGS4 cuz I don’t have a PS3.

    But anyway …. this Project Natal thing just sounds like a gimmick, but I hope it takes off. Home video gaming needs something new to break it away from the original days of joysticks and buttons, and while the Wii had an interesting idea, I think this Wii60 thing is what’ll do it.

    Anyway, what I’m looking forward to (from your article) are: Final Fantasy XII, Splinter Cell: Conviction, my Netflix queue, Metal Gear Solid: Rising, and what the hell, Halo, Reach.

  2. Comment by Jay V — 06/2/09 @ 12:37 pm

    Nicholas Cage would not steal your face to play your 360. He’d steal your face and live your life and say, “I could eat a peach for hours.” Cuz he’s Castor F****n’ Troy!!!

  3. Comment by Chris — 06/2/09 @ 1:46 pm

    I love Halo but have never like Splinter Cell (too much repetition and trial and error).

    I too am looking forward to FF XIII (XII was on the PS2, I’m assuming you meant to say XIII) it should be fun.

    Natal won’t take off until it comes with every XBOX console until then it is a fragmented market.

    I’ll have Nintendo and Sony thoughts tonight.

  4. Comment by nicholas — 06/2/09 @ 9:58 pm

    I am not a video game person anymore by any stretch of the imagination (I still think Goldeneye and Chrono Trigger are the twin pillars of gaming magnificence), but goddamn if I don’t want to play the hell out of Beatles Rock Band.

  5. Comment by Chris — 06/2/09 @ 10:55 pm

    Chrono Trigger is still great, Goldeneye not so much. I’m not a Beatles fan but I’ll more than likely pick the game up.

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